Library of Memory

When i was small, i always excited to celebrate my birthday with my family, and i still remember that every year, i get to choose my favourite cake. Every time when there’s birthday celebration, we’ll take family portrait… that’s what my parents like to do… Capturing precious memory in photo.

Celebrating birthday was like a happy thing to do, until when i was std 4, my teacher told us a story bout birthday celebration… in the story, a girl was angry with her mother for not buying or making her a birthday cake, then she scold her mother and refuse to talk to her mother. Then, her father came to her and told her that her mother risk her own life to have her, the one and only child that she could have. So birthday are not suppose to celebrate you’ve come to Earth, but to thank your mother that gave birth to you.

That’s when i think through all celebrations… New Year… Ain’t that a count down to the end of the world? I really wonder if we should celebrate New Year… Birthday… Should we have a gang of friends to celebrate our birthday? Asking your mom to prepare and serve foods to your friends on your birthday? Think again… if you want to celebrate with your friends, do all the work yourself, don’t add task to your parents. According to USA Human Sociality Research, only 4% of the ppl in USA thanks their parents on their birthday… Malaysia? i think less ppl do.

Ever since bad luck struck me, i never had a day to stop worry about everything, never had a day to really peace my mind… i’m just like a sick patient keep on taking pain killer by making myself busy all the time. But what the use of it? In the end i was darn tired! i’m tired of everything…

I just need some space to rest…

Once again… loss another family member of mine…

Death seem to be just the end of process for every life… after death… what comes ahead? i really curious about that…

There’s a new life everyday… there’s life end everyday too… For me as a buddist, what’s the use of that buying lots of stuff to mourn someone while not taking care of that person when he or she still alive? Very few people do appreciate someone while they still breathing, but they will cry for their regretness after that person is gone forever.

Money, precious stuff, jewellery and etc… You can bring none with you when you die… Though money is not everything, but without money you were nothing. Sometimes oldist will get a lawyer to set them a will to devide his or her’s properties… and sometimes arguement occur when someone left without will and with lots of precious properties… what’s the point of that? Getting more of the property left prove you a good child? Or getting more of it prove you’re richer than others and more class? Everything was empty in the end of life… what you’ll bring with you when you die is only the good deeds and bad deeds you’ve done.

Some will get over sad for the loss of their parents… I’m once too like someone, just that i’ve faced it younger than people usually do… Dead or not… is not by physical appearance… though their body no longer alive, but their spirit will live as long as you remember them…

Humans live with memories… Memories will live as long as you remember… We can’t get over a loss of life, it’s a scar that will not heal, or shall i say a loss of a piece of puzzle that will forever never be found. But we have to learn to live on with it… learn to face and accept the fact that though they dead, they live on spiritually in your mind… peacefully…